Male Masturbation Questions & Answers – General Information

What is Male Masturbation?

​Masturbation is the practice of bringing yourself to orgasm, most commonly by the stimulation of the genitals. Most men masturbate by gripping their penis in their hand and moving it up and down the length of the shaft until they reach orgasm but techniques vary and there is no ‘right way’ to masturbate. Other common masturbation techniques include stimulation of the glans, nipples or prostate.

Read more about health and masturbation.

Learn more about the Fleshlights in the Complete Guide to Choosing a Fleshlight.

How to Masturbate for Men?

There are as many different methods as there are men; everyone will find their own ‘best way’ to masturbate. But there are some common techniques which many men choose to use.

The most common way for a man to masturbate is by forming a loose fist around their penis and rubbing their palm up and down the shaft. Simple, effective and quick. Uncircumcised men use the foreskin, rubbing it over the head of the penis to stimulate the glans (the head of the penis) while circumcised men have to take care as too much friction between their hand and the exposed head can become uncomfortable. A good quality lube can solve this problem. (Learn more about personal lubricants.)

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Other common practices include stimulation of other erogenous zones such as the testicles, perineum, prostate or nipples, and other methods of creating friction on the penis such as rubbing against pillows or other objects. Sex toys are also increasingly popular and come with a wide variety of uses. The use of pornography, especially on the internet, is widespread and there is a mind-boggling array of material available to cater to every taste.

A less commonplace, but still widely used, method of masturbation for men is prostate stimulation. This often involves a finger or dildo being inserted in the anus but can also be achieved by massaging the perineum. There are many devices designed to help with this, for example the Aneros prostate massager does both. 

Read more about anal masturbation.

For any man wondering how to properly masturbate there really is no one size fits all answer. There is no ‘right way’ to masturbate and what works for me might not work for you. But there are a few dos and don’ts which can help to make the experience better.

How to Masturbate Better?

Most men settle into a rut when it comes to masturbation. We’ve all done it. From teenage fumbling to adult pleasure; somewhere along the line you find something that works for you and settle into a routine. It’s the perfect pastime, a great way to relax and release stress, and it doesn’t need any improvement. Right?

Well, yes. And no. If what you are doing works then that's great. But what if there’s something better? The truth is that you won’t know how to masturbate better until you try something different.

Read more about male masturbators.

How to Improve Your Masturbation?

The good news is that the best way to improve your masturbation technique is to practice! Not just repeat what you know but try something new from time to time. Try exploring the rest of your body. You never know, there might be an erogenous zone you didn’t even know you had. Tweak a nipple. Stroke your perineum (that’s the bit between your testicles and your anus). Buy a toy, the internet is full of them. Try something that you’ve never tried before.

How to Make Masturbation More Enjoyable?

  • Even if you’re not feeling adventurous enough to make a purchase or start messing around with your prostate just yet there are things you can do.
  • Try gently tapping the tip of your erect penis with your fingers. Resist the urge to pump and just keep it up for a while. It will take some time but you might find the resulting orgasm changes your perspective on the world!
  • Play with your testicles. Gently tug on them as you masturbate and just before orgasm. Trust me, this works.
  • Leave the shaft alone and spend some time massaging the tip. Lubricate the palm of your hand and rub this gently over the head of your penis.
  • Play with your shower head. Use massage oil. Look at porn. Don’t look at porn. Experiment and find out what blows your mind.

​For more masturbation techniques and tips, see the Best Masturbation Techniques article.

Is Sex Better than Masturbation?

Yes. And no. There really is no one answer to this question so I’m going to explain both.

Why masturbation is better than sex

You know what you’re doing. You’ve been doing it for years, you know what you like and how to do it. There is no awkwardness, no need to gently re-direct the attention of an overzealous partner or wince silently as they snag a tooth on your foreskin. You can do it whenever you are in the mood and try anything you fancy trying without worrying that they’ll find you kinky or disgusting.

Why sex is better than masturbation

Emotional intimacy. There is nothing better than sex with the person you love. You can share your fantasies and your lives and, if you do it long enough, they will get to know your little quirks as well as you know them yourself. A partner can also surprise you with something new. Something you never would have thought of trying yourself might turn out to be the best sexual adventure you ever had.

Find answers to over 60 common masturbation questions.

How to Masturbate Longer?

If you would like to know how to make masturbation last longer then there are a few things you can try. The most common way to delay orgasm is to stop masturbating just before the point of climax. Stop moving. Move your hands away from your penis if you need to. Wait until the feeling subsides and then start again. This technique, known as edging, can be repeated as many times as you like and will not only increase your control, it will lead to some mind blowing orgasms.

If you suspect that you need more help with premature ejaculation then see Urology Care Foundation's website for further information.

​Some sex toys can also be used to improve your sexual stamina. Read more about Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit.

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What is Hands Free Masturbation?

Hands free masturbation is the technique of reaching orgasm without using your hands on your penis. This can be achieved through using something other than your hands (for example, a shower head or Jacuzzi jet) to stimulate your penis. Other methods include prostate massage using a finger or a specialized toy and caressing other erogenous zones such as the nipples and testicles.

Erotic electrostimulation or e-stim is another way of achieving hands-free orgasms, although it is a more specialized interest. E-stim is the use of electrical stimulation on different parts of the body and is often associated with BDSM. If you are interested in trying then it is vitally important to research it properly and stay safe. This Wikipedia article is a good starting point.

What is Mutual Masturbation?

Mutual masturbation is masturbation that involves two or more people who stimulate themselves or each other. For many couples it is a core part of a healthy sex life and for some it takes the place of penetrative sex entirely.

There are two kinds of mutual masturbation: contact and non-contact. The former refers to two or more people masturbating and touching each other. Non-contact masturbation involves two or more people masturbating together but not touching each other. This is sometimes practiced by couples or groups of friends and helps to remove any self-consciousness that the participants may feel.

Is Masturbation Cheating?

Masturbation is not cheating. For some people masturbation (with or without their partner) is an everyday part of their regular sex life while for some others it is a way to blow off steam only when sex with their partner is not an option.

There are some people, however, who do not feel comfortable with masturbation. There could be many reasons for this, ranging from simple self-consciousness to the influence of their upbringing or beliefs. There are others who feel that masturbation is cheating or, at the very least, a comment on their own sexual performance: “Why would he want to masturbate? Am I not enough for him?”

As with any relationship, respect for the other’s beliefs and fears is important. This works both ways. The only way to resolve differences is through honest communication about desires and compatibility.

5 Fun Ways to Masturbate

Edging

Edging, or the stop-and-start method, is the practice of building yourself up to the edge of orgasm then stopping for just long enough to delay ejaculation. Repeated three or four times, this can lead to a very intense orgasm.

The simplest way to try this is to masturbate in the usual way until you are about to come. Then stop. Put your hands behind your head, beside you on the bed, or anywhere but where you want them to be. Wait until the immediate feeling subsides and you feel in control then repeat the process. If you can repeat this a few times then the climax, when you finally reach it, will be mind-blowing!

The Quickie

Sometimes all you want or need is a quick release. This is the time to remember how your teenage-self masturbated: fast and furious and with whatever porn he could lay his hands on.

The furtive fear of getting caught with a dirty magazine might be long gone but the timeless thrill of a quick hand job will never change. If you enjoy porn then the internet will deliver anything and everything you could possibly want to see at the click of a mouse.

Try Fleshlight

Fleshlight is a masturbation ‘sleeve’ which consists of an outer tube filled with a flesh-like material with a hole which simulates an artificial vagina, anus or mouth. It makes a change from your favorite hand and can be used as a masturbation toy or a training tool which helps you develop stamina. For more information see our guide to Choosing the Best Fleshlight.

Play With a Friend

Masturbation is traditionally a solo activity, but it doesn’t have to be. Mutual masturbation with a partner can spice up your sex life in all kinds of ways as you shed your inhibitions and both learn to show the other what, exactly, works for you.

Anal Stimulation

Wait! Don’t scroll away. I know this one can be a bit of a taboo but read on. Anal stimulation is usually focused on the prostate gland (also known as the male g-spot) which can be felt a couple of inches inside the anus. Some people use a finger to stimulate the area during masturbation or sex but this is not without risks as the area is very delicate.

The best way to experience anal stimulation is to buy a device made for the purpose. ​Read more in the Q&A about anal masturbation.

5 Great Masturbation Techniques

Are you stuck in a masturbatory rut? Here are five great ways to add a little spice to your alone time.

  • Lie face down on a bed, floor or other surface with your penis facing towards your head. Make sure you have a piece of smooth cloth underneath you, carpet burns are not nice. Move your pelvis in in an up and down motion with a little forward thrust to add a little friction.
  • Use plenty of lubricant and massage the head of your erect penis with your fingers or the palm of your hand. The multiple nerve endings will have you tingling and the orgasm will be amazing.
  • Add a little vibration. You don’t need anything fancy, a small vibrator or vibrating ring will do the trick. Switch it on and use it on different parts of your body while you masturbate. The tip of the penis, the testicles and the perineum are all good spots to try this.
  • Stick your spare hand in a bowl of ice just as you are about to come. The surprising sensation of cold will add to the pleasure.
  • Lubricate both hands and create a ring around the base of your penis with your thumb and forefinger of your right hand. Move the ring up the shaft until you reached the tip then repeat from the base with your left hand. The idea is to create a continuous up motion until you reach orgasm.
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