How to Use a Fleshlight – The Basics and How to Enhance the Experience

You might think you know how to use a Fleshlight; it seems fairly obvious. There is a vagina/butt/lip shaped hole in one end and, well, you know how to use your penis! But if you want to get the most from your Fleshlight experience then there are a few tips which can help.

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The Basics - Using a Fleshlight

A Fleshlight is a masturbation sleeve, lined with various bumps, ridges and other textures, to simulate the feel of a real female (or male, if you prefer the Fleshjack) orifice. It is made from a sleeve of realistic SuperSkin material, which feels a lot like real flesh, inside a solid case which gives it shape and structure.

Fleshlight Mini Lotus
The most realistic Fleshlight

Fleshlight Parts

The entrance to the sleeve is often shaped like a real human orifice and the inside walls are lined with various textures which create varying sensations - some realistic and some less so. You lube up, insert your penis and move the Fleshlight along it until orgasm. Simple, right?

There is a lot to be said for even the most basic Fleshlight masturbation. But a few simple tricks can make the experience, better, longer or more varied and ensure that you are getting the very best from your masturbation sleeve every time you use it. Read on for our top tips.


Kissa Sins Insatiable
  • Delivers mind-blowing orgasms every time.
Mini Lotus
  • Very realistic feeling sleeve and a very popular choice; ideal for a first time Fleshlight user.
Mia Malkova Boss Level
  • A fantastic all-round good Fleshlight with a firm grip and constant stimulation.

If you're looking to buy your first Fleshlight or expand your collection, take first a look at my in-depth guide to choosing the best Fleshlight. The How to Buy a Fleshlight guide is another useful read.


Warm it up

While the soft fleshy material of the Fleshlight feels amazingly realistic, it lacks the warmth of real skin. Warming it before use can make a huge difference to the feeling as you slide in, and make the whole thing a lot more realistic. The easiest way to heat the sleeve is with warm water; just place the whole sleeve in a clean sink full of hot tap water for a few minutes and you’re good to go.

If using the sink is impractical, then Fleshlight sell a specially designed sleeve warmer.

Fleshlight Sleeve Warmer
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Lube it up

Adding the correct lube is another way to really change the feel of your Fleshlight. Because of the material used in making the sleeve, you should only ever use water based lubricants. Other lubes might damage the material so make sure you check before buying.

Fleshlight Fleshlube lubricant

Depending on the intensity of the texture and your own sensitivity to it, you might find that a thicker or thinner lube works best so it is definitely worth experimenting with several. It is very difficult to recommend a single lube as everyone will have different preferences but, in general, using a lot of a thicker lube will lessen the intensity of the texture in a Fleshlight.`


Stroking by Hand

Perhaps the most obvious way to use the Fleshlight is to enter the sleeve and move the entire device along your penis by hand. It works with masturbation, seems intuitive, and it is the method that many choose – at least at first. The main benefit of holding the sleeve is that you have complete control over the speed and angle as you use it and you can make tiny adjustments as needed.

The main drawback to using your hand for Fleshlight masturbation is the size of the standard sleeve. Read any first-time user’s Fleshlight review and there is usually a comment about the size. At 2.5” to almost 4” wide, the case is big. It is not always comfortable to hold it for any length of time.

Fleshlight Bibi Jones Bi-Hive 1

If you enjoy stroking but find the standard sleeve unwieldy, it might be worth considering one of the smaller designs. Unless your penis is significantly larger than average then you will find something from the Flight, Go and Sex in a Can series that fit the bill. There is a lot less options in these models but the choices they do have are good.

Fleshlight Banner

Hands Free

There are several ways to arrange your Fleshlight that leave your hands free for other activities. Another pair of hands in willing partner is the ideal solution, but those prefer to use their Fleshlight alone might find one of the following useful.

Fleshlight Hands Free Equipment

The easiest way to use your Fleshlight hands free is to purchase one of the several mounts which are especially made for the job. has a section of their shop dedicated to mounts. Here you will find a hands free shower mount, the missionary and doggy style ‘Liberator’ mounts and the Fleshlight Launch (read Launch and Quickshot Launch reviews), which moves for you at different speeds, synching with the porn of your choice.

Fleshlight Mount: Liberator - On a Mission

You can also buy dolls which are made to accommodate a Fleshlight sleeve and add a little ‘realism’ to the experience. Try, for example, the Meiki Doll.

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DIY Hands Free

You can also use your Fleshlight hands free with no special equipment, just a little imagination. Insert the case into a pile of pillows, blankets or a rolled up sleeping bag, secure with a strap or belt if required, and pound away. It might be a little fiddly to set up and get the angle right but you can adjust your homemade Fleshlight ‘holder’ in any way you like.

End Cap and Suction

The standard Fleshlight come with two end caps. One is simply to keep the end of the Fleshlight clean and dust free in storage and is removed before use; the other is used to control the pressure and suction during masturbation by tightening and loosening it. Depending on the sleeve, this can make a huge difference to way it feels to use it.

Want to try homemade sex toys for free? See 7 Homemade Sex Toys: How to make a Pocket Pussy.

Cleaning your Fleshlight

In order to make your Fleshlight last, you need to take care of it properly. Luckily, this is a simple process: rinse it thoroughly with clean water and leave it out in a warm dry spot until it is completely dry. Do not use soap, turn the sleeve inside out, or place directly onto a hot surface such as a radiator – these can all cause damage to the SuperSkin material. supply products for cleaning but the truth is you can keep your Fleshlight clean and soft at home with just water and a little cornstarch. See my complete cleaning and maintenance guide for details.

Fleshlight Banner

Don’t like your new Fleshlight?

If you have just bought a brand new Fleshlight and think you don’t enjoy it the first time, it can be a very disappointing experience. There have been well over a hundred different Fleshlight designs and textures and there are as many preferences as there are sleeves so it is inevitable that some will suit you better than others.

But before relegating your brand new sex toy to the back of a drawer, take the time to try something different. A different hold, position, temperature or lube can transform the experience and there are many users who recommend a ‘break in’ period of several uses before reviewing a new sleeve.

Too loose? Too much suction? Try tightening or loosening the end cap. Too intense? Try more or different lube. Not intense enough? Use it a few more times to break it in. Too tight? Remove the case and use only the sleeve. Enjoying it just as it is? Try a new position – it might get even better!

Disclosure: Please note that some of the links above are affiliate links, and at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you decide to make a purchase. If you click an affiliate link and make a purchase, you help support this website. Please note that: 1) I do not and will not recommend a product just because I’m an affiliate. 2) I do not recommend products just for the sake of making money. 3) I recommend products because I think they are valuable to my readers. 4) I respect and value my readers too much to write anything other than my own genuine and objective opinions and advice.